We all know a few people like this: whenever you hear from them, they're rattling off a list of complaints and ailments. No money, a horrible job, a different ache or pain every day. Life just sucks, so sit back and listen to them as they tell you how pitiful and depressing it all is. Wait for a chance to offer sympathy, or escape their grasp, whichever comes first.
I don't mean to make light of people's problems. But the fact is, we all have problems, some of us worse than others. But most of us don't wrap our lives around our misfortunes. We face them, deal with them the best we can, and dust ourselves off before moving on.
Others, however, seem to attract bad luck and then they bathe in it like it's a warm spa. Their pain becomes their identity, eventually. Whenever you think of the person, their complaints pop into your mind as well, a jarring intrusion in your otherwise pleasant day.
You can try to be a good friend and offer advice and suggestions on how to make things better, but inevitably you hear, “That won't work for me”, or “I wish I had time”, or “I'm allergic to that”. There's always a reason, an excuse, for why this person's situation can't possibly get better. And yet, despite it all, they don't really seem to be all that down and out, do they? It's as if being miserable actually makes them happy.
Unless they've lost all hope, people with real problems seek solutions and heed advice, at least some of the time. Sympathy-seekers just want an audience to broadcast to, followed by a round of understanding nods and forced smiles. They seek pity like comedians seek laughter. And nothing you say or do will make their life better, because they don't want it to be better. Deep down they like it just as it is.
Don't make the mistake of letting them drag you into their pit of gloom and doom. Listen politely if you must, then move on. They're free to feel sorry for themselves, but they aren't free to occupy your head and squash your own sense of hope and enthusiasm.
Surround yourself with positive, goal-oriented people, and let the whiners enjoy their solitude. Perhaps in the silence they can discover something better within themselves.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
TimFlowers.com, relaunched!
TimFlowers.net and TimFlowers.com have been merged into one blog. Formerly, one was focused on spirituality and the other was focused on politics. But while evaluating my time management I came to realize that more people come to me for motivation and advice than anything else. Every day I hear from people from all over the world who don't know what to do next, or maybe simply need a few words of encouragement.
It made me think.
Apparently, my message of "don't give up" and "keep pushing on" resonates with many others! So here I am with the new relaunch of TimFlowers.com. I hope it helps you as much to read it as it does me to write it!
Together, we'll overcome all obstacles and find the life we were meant to live.
Let's go!
It made me think.
Apparently, my message of "don't give up" and "keep pushing on" resonates with many others! So here I am with the new relaunch of TimFlowers.com. I hope it helps you as much to read it as it does me to write it!
Together, we'll overcome all obstacles and find the life we were meant to live.
Let's go!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Watching television dumbs you down and increases health risks.
by Tim W Flowers
"Television offers neither rest nor stimulation. Television inhibits your ability to think, but it does not lead to freedom of mind, relaxation or renewal. It leads to a more exhausted mind. You may have time out from prior obsessive thought patterns, but that's as far as television goes." -- Jerry Mander, from the book "Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television."
If you want to feel your best, as well as succeed in life, you're going to have to turn off your television. If you were raised in front of one of these electronic I.Q. reducers you'll have a hard time adjusting, but you can do it! There have been numerous studies done on the advantages of active learning as opposed to passive learning. Active learning keeps your brain functioning at it's peak level, possibly even staving off dementia in your senior years. But without even getting into all the scientific reasons for avoiding television, here are some practical reasons to shut off the "idiot" box right now.
1. You could be reading a book or magazine, learning something new and expanding your world.
2. You could be exercising, walking in the park, getting to know your neighbors, networking with professional associates, or spending some real quality time with your family and friends.
3. You could be volunteering for that charity you've been making promises to for the past decade.
4. You could be doing almost anything that's legal and it would be better than sitting in front of a television.
The point is, if you want to feel better and live better, you've got to get off your backside and move around a bit. You need fresh air, sunshine, and physical activity. Watching the tube just won't cut it. Only losers (and future losers) sit and stare at televisions hour after hour.
It's your choice. What's it going to be?
"Television offers neither rest nor stimulation. Television inhibits your ability to think, but it does not lead to freedom of mind, relaxation or renewal. It leads to a more exhausted mind. You may have time out from prior obsessive thought patterns, but that's as far as television goes." -- Jerry Mander, from the book "Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television."
If you want to feel your best, as well as succeed in life, you're going to have to turn off your television. If you were raised in front of one of these electronic I.Q. reducers you'll have a hard time adjusting, but you can do it! There have been numerous studies done on the advantages of active learning as opposed to passive learning. Active learning keeps your brain functioning at it's peak level, possibly even staving off dementia in your senior years. But without even getting into all the scientific reasons for avoiding television, here are some practical reasons to shut off the "idiot" box right now.
1. You could be reading a book or magazine, learning something new and expanding your world.
2. You could be exercising, walking in the park, getting to know your neighbors, networking with professional associates, or spending some real quality time with your family and friends.
3. You could be volunteering for that charity you've been making promises to for the past decade.
4. You could be doing almost anything that's legal and it would be better than sitting in front of a television.
The point is, if you want to feel better and live better, you've got to get off your backside and move around a bit. You need fresh air, sunshine, and physical activity. Watching the tube just won't cut it. Only losers (and future losers) sit and stare at televisions hour after hour.
It's your choice. What's it going to be?
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Face suffering without fear.
Why must the world suffer such misery? Why must there be such inexplicable pain?
As the days passed, I came to understand.
I realized that in the end, the answers were not for human beings to know, that our work is simply to ease the great suffering of the world...to have the courage to face suffering, senselessness, and irrationality without fear...to find the strength to create peace by one's own example.
I will undergo whatever training is necessary for this to become my unshakeable conviction.
-- from "The Burmese Harp" by Michio Takeyama.
As the days passed, I came to understand.
I realized that in the end, the answers were not for human beings to know, that our work is simply to ease the great suffering of the world...to have the courage to face suffering, senselessness, and irrationality without fear...to find the strength to create peace by one's own example.
I will undergo whatever training is necessary for this to become my unshakeable conviction.
-- from "The Burmese Harp" by Michio Takeyama.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
What's your body worth?
by Tim W Flowers
Do you value your body? Do you think of it as the vital carrier of your spirituality and the essence of who you are? If not, you probably don't need to read on. But if you do value your body, are you polluting it with chemicals, neglect, negative thoughts, and junk food? Not much value there. You only get one body, and when it's worn out or riddled with disease, your time is up. There is no "bionic" replacement available. I hate to inform you but The Six-Million Dollar Man was just a TV show. So unless you want to end up like your Aunt Mildred in the nursing home, (you know, the nice old gal with the wheelchair, adult diapers, and oxygen tank) I strongly suggest you start taking care of yourself, right now, no matter how old you are. I'm no doctor, but here are some tips I've learned by doing a lot of research over the past few years:
1. Get off your butt and move around. Everything in moderation, of course, but you need to go for a brisk walk at least ten minutes everyday. Walking your dog for 10 minutes doesn't count, unless you keep moving everytime Fido stops to sniff the dirt.
2. Stop eating junk food. All of it. It's killing you, slowly. Find a healthy substitute, something with no trans-fats. And pass on anything with artificial sweeteners. Recent studies show that so-called "diet" foods actually make you crave sweets and cause you to put on more weight, plus put you at greater risk of diabetes.
3. Drink a small glass of red wine, or eat a small bit of dark chocolate, daily. It's good for your circulatory system.
4. You need a quality multi-vitamin, preferably in liquid form. Don't buy cheap vitamins. They're a complete waste of money. If the price doesn't make you cringe a bit, you're probably buying junk.
5. You also need EFA's (essential fatty acids). You can get it from fish oil capsules, flax seed oil, and hemp seed oil. Just like with vitamins, don't buy the cheap stuff. Cheap fish oil can can contain mercury, lead, and pesticides. And take enough (quality) oil that it actually does you some good. This means 3 or more fish oil capsules daily, or a tablespoon or more of flax seed or hemp seed oil.
6. You need healthy bacteria in your gut. Get it from low-fat yogurt or a glass of kefir. If the kefir is too sour for you, add a spoonful of honey and stir it in. The honey takes the edge off and adds additional nutritional benefits.
7. Soy is a great thing. Eat some. Drink some. Soy helps to remove fat from things like those potato chips you just ate, even though I said you should ditch the junk food.
8. Eat oatmeal and bran flakes for breakfast. Oatmeal lowers cholesterol, bran helps keep your colon happy. We all want happy colons, don't we?
9. Drink aloe vera juice daily. Why aloe? Ghandi, when asked how come he looked so healthy and had lots of energy during his fasting said: "It's my unshakable faith in God, my simple and frugal lifestyle and aloe vera which I discovered on my trip to South Africa and which I drink everyday for energy." The Egyptians called it the "Plant of Immortality", and the Hindus call it the "Silent Healer".
10. Finally, do your best to eliminate the stressful, brain-numbing things that overwhelm you everyday. They're slowly driving you insane. Get a new job. Train your dog. Find a new spouse who actually loves you. Think beautiful thoughts. Whatever it takes. Just do it now.
(legal disclaimer: always check with your doctor before taking any supplements or otherwise following any advice you find on the internet.)
Do you value your body? Do you think of it as the vital carrier of your spirituality and the essence of who you are? If not, you probably don't need to read on. But if you do value your body, are you polluting it with chemicals, neglect, negative thoughts, and junk food? Not much value there. You only get one body, and when it's worn out or riddled with disease, your time is up. There is no "bionic" replacement available. I hate to inform you but The Six-Million Dollar Man was just a TV show. So unless you want to end up like your Aunt Mildred in the nursing home, (you know, the nice old gal with the wheelchair, adult diapers, and oxygen tank) I strongly suggest you start taking care of yourself, right now, no matter how old you are. I'm no doctor, but here are some tips I've learned by doing a lot of research over the past few years:
1. Get off your butt and move around. Everything in moderation, of course, but you need to go for a brisk walk at least ten minutes everyday. Walking your dog for 10 minutes doesn't count, unless you keep moving everytime Fido stops to sniff the dirt.
2. Stop eating junk food. All of it. It's killing you, slowly. Find a healthy substitute, something with no trans-fats. And pass on anything with artificial sweeteners. Recent studies show that so-called "diet" foods actually make you crave sweets and cause you to put on more weight, plus put you at greater risk of diabetes.
3. Drink a small glass of red wine, or eat a small bit of dark chocolate, daily. It's good for your circulatory system.
4. You need a quality multi-vitamin, preferably in liquid form. Don't buy cheap vitamins. They're a complete waste of money. If the price doesn't make you cringe a bit, you're probably buying junk.
5. You also need EFA's (essential fatty acids). You can get it from fish oil capsules, flax seed oil, and hemp seed oil. Just like with vitamins, don't buy the cheap stuff. Cheap fish oil can can contain mercury, lead, and pesticides. And take enough (quality) oil that it actually does you some good. This means 3 or more fish oil capsules daily, or a tablespoon or more of flax seed or hemp seed oil.
6. You need healthy bacteria in your gut. Get it from low-fat yogurt or a glass of kefir. If the kefir is too sour for you, add a spoonful of honey and stir it in. The honey takes the edge off and adds additional nutritional benefits.
7. Soy is a great thing. Eat some. Drink some. Soy helps to remove fat from things like those potato chips you just ate, even though I said you should ditch the junk food.
8. Eat oatmeal and bran flakes for breakfast. Oatmeal lowers cholesterol, bran helps keep your colon happy. We all want happy colons, don't we?
9. Drink aloe vera juice daily. Why aloe? Ghandi, when asked how come he looked so healthy and had lots of energy during his fasting said: "It's my unshakable faith in God, my simple and frugal lifestyle and aloe vera which I discovered on my trip to South Africa and which I drink everyday for energy." The Egyptians called it the "Plant of Immortality", and the Hindus call it the "Silent Healer".
10. Finally, do your best to eliminate the stressful, brain-numbing things that overwhelm you everyday. They're slowly driving you insane. Get a new job. Train your dog. Find a new spouse who actually loves you. Think beautiful thoughts. Whatever it takes. Just do it now.
(legal disclaimer: always check with your doctor before taking any supplements or otherwise following any advice you find on the internet.)
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
What would God sound like?
by Tim W Flowers
There is evidence of God, or some kind of higher consciousness, all around us. God makes itself visible through nature of all kinds:
trees, clouds, wind, rain, and even the squirrels running through the park.
But if God were to try to talk to us directly using something similar to language, I think it would be a single musical note. And not any ordinary musical note, but one so powerful and beautiful and moving it would bring us almost to tears.
Often when listening to music, certain combinations of notes will come together and I’ll wonder, “Is that what God would sound like?”. It’s a nice thought, in any event!
trees, clouds, wind, rain, and even the squirrels running through the park.
But if God were to try to talk to us directly using something similar to language, I think it would be a single musical note. And not any ordinary musical note, but one so powerful and beautiful and moving it would bring us almost to tears.
Often when listening to music, certain combinations of notes will come together and I’ll wonder, “Is that what God would sound like?”. It’s a nice thought, in any event!
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